Once again I am at a loss as to what to write but I'm sure I'll think of something! This school year we have three kiddos at school and Samantha gets to have her one on one time :) She LOVES it! But while the older three are at school it gives me time to think, regroup, and ponder so many things (it can be scary!)   We have just been through a crazy crisis, although I won't go into detail but we were being threatened to have to remove our girls from our home, or having to place Jeffery into state custody.  I lost it......for weeks, I was SO worried that my family  was going to be ripped apart, I was hurt, I was scared, I was desperate to try to figure out God's plan and fix things. It is in my nature, as a oldest child, as a mother, as a caring person that I need to fix things, I need to try to make everything right. How many times does God need to teach me to let go, it is not my job, position, life's mission to try to figure out his plans?! Apparently I am that incredibly hard headed child (hard headed?me? no way!) that needs to be taught, retaught and taught again the lessons that I need to learn. I guess reading things in my bible and doing bibles studies isn't enough for me to learn to butt out of God's master plan, I require hands on learning. In my last post I mentioned hitting a point where I fell to my knees because I couldn't handle my life alone, I needed Christ in my life. I guess I needed to get to that place again. I grew comfortable living in our life of craziness and I wasn't having the relationship with Christ that I needed, I needed to be knocked to my knees and reminded that although this may be my life I am God's child and living for him. Just like my children have their grand master plans of what they think they are going to do for the week, I as a parent can change those plans if they aren't doing what I have told them to do. How many times as adults do  we forget that we have a heavenly father that can change his mind and our plans at any given moment. With the circumstances that we had been thrown into I had to relinquish the control over my life. I once again had to place ALL my faith in him and trust that what was supposed to happen would. Maybe this issues was to educate law enforcement, maybe someone that was working this case needed to see that they didn't have as rough of a life as they though, or maybe it was all for me? I don't know..... I don't need to know. We are basically in the same position that we were in before everything happened, a few people have chosen to not be active in our lives anymore, but that is their decision. I feel like I am back to the position of longing to have a closer relationship with Christ. Summer is always rough, with kids home all day everyday, there isn't any bible study in the summer, church is nearly impossible to go to.... but school is back in, my women's small group bible study starts back up next week in my home, I am signed up for a couple other bible studies and we have been back at church the past two weeks. I am super excited to be back in God's word, to learn more about him and to work on myself.